somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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