ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
