the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Houston, we have a blender
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
