I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
pray to the hookup gods
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
