Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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