Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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