Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
