I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
