Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
