you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
