i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
