Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
