is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
