You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
