it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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