O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
