im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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