Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
