As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
vagina is talking i cant
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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