I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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