doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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