What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
