Dual....:-)
I love black thongs
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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