Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
