Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
