is your mom at the bar?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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