He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
