i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
