you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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