they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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