party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize