so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
