As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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