if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
