help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
