Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
