Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
did i walk over a car last night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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