Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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