I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
