I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
