I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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