Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
