The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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