Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
