Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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