Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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