I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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