dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
