dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
