Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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