is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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